Animal Companion Loss

We have a guest blogger today: Jennifer Dawn Smith, Faster EFT Practitioner. On a personal note: I have had sessions with Jennifer to deal with both pet loss and human loss in my life. I can attest to the power of Faster EFT and to the truth of Jennifer’s pain as I was Minnie’s pet sitter. And yes, now Izzy and Ben are part of the Fat Tabby family as well.

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When I was in college, I snuck a puppy into my “pet-free” apartment I shared with a VERY understanding room-mate (she ate her shoes). I hadn’t made ANY plans to adopt a puppy; I could barely feed myself.  But fate intervened.

We were a case of love at first sight.

For the next 15 years, we were inseparable. Our intense bond was forged as I grew into an adult, and Minnie was always there for me, believing in me when I didn’t believe in myself. As she aged, the thought of losing her shut me down.

Who would root for me when she was GONE?

I had to think about other things to get my mind off it as I stroked her gray muzzle and snuggled up to her little-old-lady body those last couple of winters.  I didn’t want to let her go. When I did finally lose her, at the glorious age of 15, and after her recovery from 2 strokes, it STILL came as a shock.

ALL OF IT.

The trauma of her death, the emptiness in my home and heart, THE INTENSITY OF THE PAIN. It felt like the one “person” who really knew me, really saw the REAL me – was gone forever. I told myself I would NEVER have another relationship like that in my life again – it was a once in a lifetime love-connection.

MY GRIEF LINGERED.

For a year, I felt like joy had left me completely.  I was depressed. I had trouble sleeping. I felt like I didn’t like dogs anymore and I hated seeing other people happy with their dogs. It hurt, and I felt sorry for them knowing what they were up against. I told myself I could NEVER go through that again. As a result, we had a new pup I couldn’t connect to.

I WAS EMOTIONALLY SHUT DOWN.

When I looked at Izzy, I just didn’t like her. It felt like the feeling was mutual. She annoyed me.  She wasn’t Minnie.  She NEVER would be. As we struggled, she became my husband’s dog.  I didn’t care.

TIME DID NOT HEAL MY WOUNDS.

With more time, the pain became less intense but only because I pushed Minnie’s image and memory away. I put away the photos and stopped talking and thinking about her. People gave me books about grieving a pet, but I couldn’t even open them. They seemed like a recipe for more pain. A part of me secretly feared that “overcoming my loss” would be like losing her all over again.

THERE WAS LITTLE COMFORT & UNDERSTANDING.

For awhile, I fantasized about how I might see Minnie again after I died, but being non-religious, I didn’t know if that was really a possibility. This idea was of little comfort to me after her death. Well-meaning people were right when they said things like: “Fifteen years is a good life for a dog.” But to me that didn’t matter. Fifteen years with my best friend and child was too short.  They couldn’t relate.

WITHOUT REALIZING IT, I WAS HOLDING ON: TO TRAUMA.

Part of the reason I couldn’t think of my beloved Minnie without pain for years was, when I did:  ALL I saw was her death. And my regrets. Remembering her meant I experienced the horror of it all over again. It affected my mood intensely. I felt sad, angry, guilty and helpless.  It was a MESS. My beautiful relationship with Minnie had somehow been removed, and some terrible form of Post Traumatic Stress was occupying it’s place.

Then I found Faster EFT.

When I applied Faster EFT to my experience of losing Minnie, something amazing happened:

I got her back.

All of a sudden, the bad pictures and sad feelings evaporated.

I could think of her and see new memories now:

  • Our walks in the woods
  • Us frolicking at the beach
  • The day she stole the prawns off the kitchen counter.

I could SEE it ALL again, and IT FELT SO GOOD!

The only tears that came were tears of RELIEF.

Relief that I could finally feel my love for her again and remember our GOOD TIMES – without any pain or the horrible memories of her death getting in the way. The devastating feeling was gone. I could look at pictures of us together again and laugh and smile. When I thought of her, I felt warm inside and got a feeling of connection.  It felt like strength.

I WAS FINALLY HEALING.

I knew this was true when, out of the blue, I started connecting to Izzy. I started noticing her funny side. I started looking forward to her quirky, fire-cracker attitude and fell in love with her freckled face. She forgave me for ignoring her and jumped right into the relationship with me, anxious to make up for lost time. I found myself talking to other dog owners again, petting their babies and coming back into the crowd I’d left – my crowd.

MY HEART WAS BACK OPEN.

When we adopted Izzy’s brother Ben, I got to experience loving a tiny puppy through all the fun stages of growing and learning again. This was something I never thought I could to do again, but I found myself signing up. We bonded intensely, and now he’s my “baby boy” – sixty pounds of chocolaty brown love.

FASTER EFT HEALED MY PAIN SO I COULD LOVE AGAIN.

Though neither of my current dogs is “Minnie”, I can honestly say I love them just as much as I loved her. I never would have thought this was possible, because when I was stuck in the pain, I couldn’t fathom it. What I have learned is, “overcoming” your grief and loss CAN be simple with the right tool. When you use it, it opens up new worlds. Coming out of the dark side and back to the light brings you new opportunities.nA chance see the relationships you have NOW with new eyes, and a strength that wasn’t there before.

HEALING YOU HONORS THEM

If you’ve lost a special animal companion, please consider using Faster EFT to recover from YOUR grief and loss. You CAN feel good again.  I’m living proof. As a grief and loss expert, this is one of the main focuses of my work with clients today. It’s near and dear to my heart. I can’t imagine my life without the connection I have with the animals in my life today. I want you to be able to say the same.

For more information, please connect with me via FB, my website jenniferdawnsmith.com, or email me at: jen.smith@mlode.com

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